So far...

We really have come. So. So. Far. I forget this. Often. I don't take the time to really look back in my mind's eye. Seven years is such a long time. One thing that I used to really hate about the whole thing was that every single year was completely different. I could not predict anything. I had no control over anything. And oh, how I love having control over...well...pretty much everything. Sigh. So, guess what my favorite thing about this whole thing is? Well, it's the fact that...every single year is completely different. I don't know how to do this without His help...every. single. moment. The beautiful part is that it never runs out. His grace is there for the taking...every. single. moment. I am learning to take it. What a gift!

I don't know why I waste so much precious, valuable time worrying that I am screwing their futures up. (Well, actually, I do know why, but that's an entirely different post.) One day they will be gone. Grown and living a life entirely separate from my own. I won't be wiping noses and bottoms all day long. I won't be sounding out words for spelling tests or drilling multiplication facts over macaroni and cheese. I won't have to go back over the correct way to fold a towel or load a dishwasher for the hundredth time in one day.  And I will miss these harried, half-finished, unorganizable moments. I will miss them. I will long to be interrupted...by a football breaking yet another precious Willow Tree figurine when I'm trying to catch a nap...or a rendition of "Oklahoma!" being sung loudly while I'm attempting to answer emails. My house will be spotless. And I will not really care. But I will know that I did the one thing I never questioned even once whether or not God had told me to do. "Go and make disciples..." 

I think this is my new favorite quote. It has helped me stay grounded when, at the end of the year, (and I do this at the end of every single year) the Enemy comes in with his onslaught of arrows aimed right at my mind. It's the heart of what I do and why I do it. I can't afford to forget...

"Because what will the math really matter if they are bitter? If the house is immaculate, but my attitude a mess?  If they can count- but they don't know how to count all things as joy? If we get the lists done, but have lost happiness in Him? How can any grammar skill outweigh the fact that they don't know the language of grace and thanks? What good will it be if they can recite all the major British battles- but they don't know how to see beauty? What am I teaching our children if I'm not living simply, quietly, this: 'Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things." (Phil 4:8) Focusing on what is beautiful, good, true,- isn't this the highest education? ~Ann Voskamp (Who else?)